Self Sabotage

Dear Julio,

July 2024 has been an amazing month. The hard work you put in years ago with networking, connecting, and building those important relationships has helped you bounce back from being laid off. It was your first layoff, it may not be your last. But you know your support group is solid. They love you and you love them. Thank you.

July also was challenging because you continue to self-sabotage. you continue to believe, hope, and yearn for someone to see you for the MAN you are now. You continue to hurt yourself because of the way this person treats you. You continue to push away love, and true connection because of hope. “Hope is important, but not when it’s an illusion.”

This decision of being alone, being a single father, and betting on yourself will pay off. You have to continue to believe in yourself. You need to emotionally detach. Detach yourself from the idea of this person you made up in your head. Detach yourself from needing this person’s approval of who you are. My dog, look at what you have accomplished. You set goals for yourself and you met them. Was it hard? Hell yeah. But it was worth it. You cried, you failed, you stumbled, but you got up. Every time! You have earned the respect of those close to you, you get love from your circle, and the cheering section you created RAGES for you.

If you don’t begin to believe in yourself, love yourself, or even care for yourself, you will continue to struggle. You will lose yourself. The man you built will be gone.

Stop pretending. Stop being pulled into that game. Stop expecting a different outcome. I am writing to you in the hope that you are in a better place mentally. In a place of relaxation, in a place of comfort. A place where you are SEEN. A place where you are cherished, fam, you deserve it.

Follow your heart. Follow what feels real. Listen to your heart AND brain. Know your worth. You are an amazing person, father, lover, and son. You KNOW this. You now know what kind of love makes you feel whole. Nourish that. Let it in.

This is Julio from 2024 and I hope that Julio in 2029 is doing amazing things. I hope you continue to build who you are. I hope you finally know you’re loved. I hope you know that you deserve that love. Accept that love and most importantly, learn to love yourself. You matter.

With love,

Julio Aguirre ‘24