Grief

I have lost myself again.

I have worked hard to find who I am.

I have been looking for validation in all the wrong places.

I have wanted to be loved.

Years have passed and I am still stuck

Months like this make me want my dad around again.

Weeks like the one I have had make me want to scream.

Days like today I need to find my center.

Moments that fill me with pain continue to run through my head.

I want to start my life

I want to be myself again

I want to be happy.

I want to laugh

I want to love.

When did I go missing?

Who am I?

Why does the validation complete me?

What does love look like to me?

Years of disrespect

Months of heartbreak

Weeks of hesitation

Days full of tears

Moments with an abundance of questions.

Grief.

I’ve lived through it too many times.

Loss

Is suffocating.

Hurt

I’ve ignored it.

Feelings

I am learning them

Confusion

I’m living it.

If I am not owed anything, why am I still here?

If you have moved on, why am I still here?